I had gone to the cabin to get away from TVs and cellphones...and to spend some much-needed physical and mental downtime. I'm always in awe as I get out of my van, take a deep breath, and listen to.......nothing! Silence. Except for the sound of a gentle breeze blowing through the treetops overhead. I close my eyes for just a moment, and actually feel the stresses of life begin to melt away. It makes me smile.
Then I make my way to the cabin, unlock the door, and step into another world. On this particular evening, it was almost bedtime, so after spending a little time sitting on the front porch, I made my way inside to get ready for bed.
The last few weeks had been especially stressful, with cares and worries about various things, particularly carrying burdens for my grown daughters, and the struggles they were dealing with in their lives.
I always thought that once your children were grown and out of the house, you could breathe deep, relax, and not worry anymore. But now it was worse, because I no longer had them under the safety of my roof. I had to stand by and watch them make decisions, good or bad, that I knew would effect them for the rest of their lives.
Anyway, I slept fitfully, and awoke about 6 a.m. I slipped on my fleece robe, and stepped outside into the cool, crisp early morning air. How beautiful it is at this time of the morning, a mist hovering close to the ground and across the meadow.
I pulled the wrought iron chaise lounge over to the side of the cabin, facing the woods, and took a seat. As I sat there, I began this conversation with God. "Lord, sometimes, I don't feel Your presence. Sometimes I feel so alone. My heart is breaking right now over these family situations and I feel so helpless. Sometimes I wonder if You even hear me. Could You not let me know somehow that you do hear me?"
About that time, I heard a flutter overhead, and a beautiful red cardinal landed on the picnic table in front of me. I thought, "Hmm...I see cardinals out here all the time, and they are so beautiful. But I don't believe that's a sign." The cardinal flew off. Ten seconds later, another fluttering, and a big, fat bluejay flew down and landed on the same picnic table. Again my thoughts were, "I don't believe that's it, either. Bluejays are a common sight here." Then I said, outloud, "Lord, if you could just send me a red-winged blackbird, I'd know it was from You." I had only seen one red-winged blackbird at the cabin since we'd bought it 5 years before.
Seconds later, I had just leaned my head back and closed my eyes, still lost in prayer, when I heard a distant call behind me, over my left shoulder. I opened my eyes, but continued looking straight ahead. I listened to the approaching sound, not wanting to turn around and look, when over my left shoulder I heard another fluttering as a beautiful red-winged blackbird swooped down and landed on the table right in front of me.
Peace seemed to flood my soul as tears welled up in my eyes. All I could say was, "Thank You, Lord, thank You. Thank You, thank You, thank You." He came to me that day in the form of a red-winged blackbird. He knew I didn't have the strength to take one more step without some assurance, and I believe He was glad to give it.
And He continues to give it. I have not seen another red-winged blackbird at the cabin since that day.
But since then, we've moved to another town to pastor a small country church. Every morning at 7 a.m., outside the bedroom window of our new parsonage, sits a beautiful red-winged blackbird in the top of the peach tree in our back yard. I recognize it's call every morning as it flies down to the birdfeeder that I keep filled just for him. And sometimes, just for good measure, he brings a couple red-winged friends with him to greet me. And many times, as I make my way across the parking lot to the church, I can hear him calling to me from a telephone wire high above, and I always smile and wave to him. He's become a dear friend.
